I Ain’t Mad at God!
By Lorenzo C. Robertson
God created me to be a caring, compassionate and loving person and I strive to be the person that He created me to be on His earth. Some years ago I was dealt a devastating blow that changed the way I lived my life. That life-altering blow was an AIDS diagnosis.
The day that literally changed the way I viewed this precious life that I have been granted to live. From that day I have asked the Lord to keep me in His arms of protection, but never once questioned or asked Him why me? Instead I asked myself why not me. Obviously, God knew that I could handle the pressures and challenges that ultimately would be ahead for me and my family and my friends.
With prayers and support from people that love and care about me, I have embarked up-on this tedious journey as a person living with AIDS. I have opted not to flip the script and pretend that AIDS is living with me. I know that I am living with AIDS, I just have decided that I would not allow AIDS to dictate my life and all that I want to do with it.
AIDS is a devastating dis-ease and many people are afraid to even utter the word, AIDS. I am not one of those people. I have even taken it one step further I also work in the field. You know the one thing I have learned that our people, Black and religious people, are some of the people that are most afraid of AIDS. What I do is try to desensitize Black people about a subject that is many times swept un-der the rug and never ever spoken about in mixed company; that is anyone that is outside the family.
However, through it all I have learned to lean more and more on the everlasting and ever strong arms of the Lord. He has held me when there was no one there to hold me. He has comforted me in my lowest hours when I just didn’t feel that I wanted to go on living my life with AIDS any longer. The Lord has kept me without any opportunistic infections for about many years.
So I know that the Lord has a song for me to sing, he just hasn’t seen fit to give me a voice yet, a sermon to preach nor has he called me to the ministry if he has I am not listening well or there is something I need to do; just to glorify His name that I have not done, yet.
So, I will continue to pray and ask the Lord to keep me in His loving, caring and strong arms of protection from the enemy.
See, I ain’t mad at God for the things He has allowed to happen in my life. I am grateful that I am still here to praise the Lord one more time and to be allowed to glorify His name to the highest. He has kept me here for a purpose and I ain’t mad at God. Amen.