By Von C. Howard
Special to The Westside Gazette
In communities across the country, and especially right here at home, there’s a phrase that gets passed around with a knowing nod: “Crabs in a bucket.” It’s a metaphor we know well—one crab climbs, the others pull it down. It’s used to describe cycles of jealousy, fear, and control that prevent people from rising.
But what if that phrase no longer served us? What if that mindset was never ours to begin with?
As we navigate the social, political, and spiritual terrain of 2025, we find ourselves at a crossroads. There’s a quiet voice inside many of us that says, “We can do better… We are better.” And perhaps now, more than ever, we must choose to listen.
Because the truth is this: We were never meant to live in the bucket.
Over the years, we’ve seen these “bucket” dynamics show up everywhere—from nonprofit boardrooms to family gatherings, from small businesses to sacred pulpits. In places where love, trust, and generational wisdom should thrive, we too often find fear, control, and ego.
Leadership becomes about title, not service. Younger voices are doubted instead of developed.
Fresh ideas are silenced before they’re ever shared. And those trying to climb are met not with support, but suspicion.
These aren’t just organizational problems. They’re deeply personal and communal. They show up in our families, our churches, and even in our friendships. And when the spaces we cherish most become sites of discouragement instead of empowerment, something within us begins to fracture.
But we don’t have to stay stuck in that pattern.
At our best, we are builders, believers, and bridges—stretching across generations, standing between legacy and possibility. Still, many are weary. After years of trying to rise, hands become scraped, spirits grow tired, and the climb feels lonelier than it should.
We cannot afford to keep climbing like this. Not in this moment. Not with the stakes this high.
As rights shift and justice feels fragile, the greatest threat to our progress isn’t just what’s happening outside our communities, it’s what’s happening within. When we work against ourselves, we risk giving away the very power we need to move forward.
But the good news? We can shift the narrative. We can choose a new way forward.
Imagine if we replaced the bucket with a ladder—each step strengthened by the one who came before. Imagine if our homes were spaces of safety and boldness, not silence. Imagine if our churches were spiritual launching pads, not control centers. What if our community tables became platforms for collective vision instead of battlegrounds for individual ego?
That’s the future we deserve.
But to get there, we must ask ourselves hard questions: In our families, are we nurturing growth or enforcing control? In our faith spaces, are we mentoring or micromanaging? In our organizations, are we making room—or just guarding it? Are we building legacy—or just building walls?
These aren’t just rhetorical reflections. They’re calls to action. And they must be answered with humility and honesty.
To our elders: We honor your sacrifice and your strength. We need your wisdom now more than ever. But legacy also means letting go with love—and creating space for others to lead with fresh eyes and open hearts.
To our young people: Don’t shrink to fit systems that don’t see your worth. You are not a threat—you are a blessing. You don’t need permission to shine.
And to those of us in between—tasked with holding both memory and movement—we are the bridge. Let’s use our position to unify, not divide. To translate tradition into transformation. To protect the past while clearing a path for the future.
Because we were never meant to be crabs in a bucket.
We were meant to be: Ladders. Highways. Healing in human form.
Let us build families that forgive, churches that uplift, and communities that collaborate. Let us become the kind of people who see leadership not as power, but as stewardship.
Because the climb is always easier when no one’s pulling.
And the future? It shines brighter when we rise—together.
Von C. Howard is a writer, community strategist, and intergenerational bridge builder committed to civic healing, faith-rooted empowerment, and creating spaces where people can grow into their full purpose. He contributes regularly to conversations at the intersection of leadership, legacy, and liberation.