Ain’t That A VHIT
By Von C. Howard
There is a quiet caution I am learning to carry with me through life: the danger of mistaking my mirror for a window.
A window allows me to look outward at people, circumstances, systems, and situations. A mirror invites me to look inward at my tone, my posture, my motives, my habits, and my heart. Both are necessary. But wisdom, I am discovering, begins with knowing which one I am standing in front of.
If I am honest, I often prefer the window.
It is easier to examine what others should fix than to confront what I still need to change. It feels more comfortable to analyze someone else’s words than to revisit my own reactions. There are moments when I replay conversations not to grow, but to confirm why I was right. In those moments, I am not using the mirror as it was intended. I am treating it like a window.
That is where growth quietly pauses.
The mirror has a way of asking questions that cannot be ignored. Did I really listen, or was I only waiting for my turn to speak? Did my tone bring peace, or did it add pressure? Was I trying to understand, or simply trying to be understood? These questions are not easy, but they are necessary. Because every meaningful season of growth I have experienced began with honest reflection.
Self-examination is not about shame. It is about responsibility. It is the discipline of tending to my own character before correcting someone else’s conduct. I cannot control another person’s choices, but I can refine my own responses. I can choose patience over pride. I can choose wisdom over impulse. I can choose humility over the need to win.
I am still learning this daily. There are times when emotion leads and discernment follows behind. Later, in quiet moments, clarity arrives, and I realize something important was missing, not because it was not said, but because I was not ready to hear it. That is when I remember the wisdom passed down from our parents and grandparents: God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listening should outweigh talking. Understanding should come before responding.
The window still has value. It teaches awareness, empathy, and perspective. It reminds me that every story has more than one side. But when I live permanently at the window and avoid the mirror, I limit my own maturity.
Reflection must come before correction. Accountability must come before instruction.
Growth must come before influence.
So, I am learning to pause more. To check my heart before checking someone else. To ask what God is shaping in me before asking what He is fixing around me.
The caution of mistaking your mirror for a window is simple, but profound.
Because the clearest vision I will ever gain is not how well I see others but how honestly, I am willing to see myself.