By Von C. Howard
If you’ve ever sat in a Black barbershop, you know it’s more than a place to get a haircut. It’s where the walls hold our stories, where the clippers trim away not just hair but sometimes the heaviness we carry. The shop is where men laugh, debate, confess, and in between it all, heal.
That’s exactly what happened the other day at Goo Barbershop in Lauderhill, FL.
It started like any regular visit, a few guys waiting for their turn, swapping small talk, joking about sports, catching up on neighborhood news. But without warning, the conversation shifted. We went from talking about the game to talking about life, the real, unfiltered parts. The kind of talk that makes you lean in.
There we were four men from four very different walks of life.
One was a husband, father, and aspiring community connector who’s been through storms he rarely speaks of, yet still finds ways to pour into others.
Next to him sat a former professional athlete, young, recently divorced, and learning how to navigate the silence that follows when the cheering stops. He’s rebuilding himself, brick by brick, without the uniform that once defined him.
There was a little league coach, an entrepreneur, and father who once had a promising music career. Life threw him curveballs, and some of his own decisions set him back. But instead of staying stuck, he’s now on the field with the kids, giving them the guidance he wishes he’d had, all while grieving the recent loss of his biggest supporter.
And finally, a 4-time felon, a man who could have been swallowed by his past but refused to stay there. Every day, he stands as proof that perseverance can flip your story, no matter how many times you’ve fallen.
Man, the stories were raw. No sugarcoating. Just truth, experience, and reflection. Between the laughter and the silent nods, one thing kept surfacing: we’re all still learning how to be men while already being men. We’re often carrying our own pain while trying to lighten someone else’s load. We’re figuring out the road ahead while others are following our lead.
In that space, we reminded each other: our job isn’t just to look out for the young boys who are watching us grow up. It’s not just to dap up the brothers grinding alongside us. It’s also about facing the man in the mirror every morning, encouraging him, correcting him when necessary, and never letting him forget his worth.
Every day is a chance to grow. My late pastor, Dr. Mack King Carter, used to say, “You never want to go to bed as dumb as you were when you woke up.” That’s not just about books. It’s about life. It’s about learning something new about yourself, about others, and about how to be better every single day.
It reminded me of a line from Jay-Z’s Meet the Parents:
“A man’s supposed to stand on his own two…”
That lyric hit different in the shop. Because standing on your own two isn’t just about independence, it’s about accountability, resilience, and showing up for yourself so you can show up for others.
Being a man isn’t a one-time achievement. It’s work. It’s showing up even when you’re tired. It’s standing on your word when it’s costly. It’s learning hard lessons and still finding the strength to be an example for someone else.
So, if you’ve ever wondered where the real conversations about manhood happen, don’t be surprised if it’s not in a boardroom or a formal seminar. Sometimes, it’s right there in the barber’s chair, with the buzz of clippers in your ear, the smell of aftershave in the air, and the wisdom of the shop flowing like an old record on repeat.
Because in The Shop, we’re not just getting lined up, we’re getting our minds, our spirits, and our manhood sharpened too. And if you’re lucky, you might just leave with more than a fresh cut, you might leave with a fresh perspective.
