Dr. James L. Snyder
Growing up, I never thought much about what my life would be like when I got old.
It wasn’t until recently I realized getting old and ugly has some significant perks. When I was young, I never thought of it this way, but I am starting to realize it now. It makes me smile to see the perks I’m discovering.
Nobody wants to admit they are ugly. They don’t spend enough time looking in the mirror to come to that universal conclusion
Some perks of getting old are the help sometimes people will give you. The other day, for example, I was walking to a store; I had hurt my leg a couple of days before. Because of that, I was using a cane, and I looked like I was limping. I felt grateful for the kindness I received, which warmed my heart.
When I came to the door, before I could even open it, someone was there to open it for me and invite me inside. I never expected that perk, but I’m coming to enjoy it. I must confess, I sometimes exaggerate my limping to get the attention I need. However, the attention always comes my way.
The perk of being ugly is something I just found out. When I was young, I was very careful around people, especially women. I made it a rule not to talk to women I did not know.
But being ugly means that nobody is going to take you seriously. I can walk up to a group of women, for example, and begin a conversation and nobody thinks anything about it.
The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage can have the greatest confidence that wherever I’m at, and if I’m alone, no woman is going to hit on me. I just discovered that recently. I was so protective up to this point, but now that I’m old and ugly, I have nothing to fear.
It is a blessing to enjoy perks like this. I can be confident in some groups or on my own. I don’t have to worry that someone would spread a rumor that somebody was hitting on me. People don’t hit on ugly men.
Three weeks ago, I was in a restaurant by myself, and when the waitress brought my bill to the table, I said in a joking way, “Do old and ugly men get discounts?”
We both laughed together, and when we were done laughing, she said, “As a matter of fact, we do give discounts like that. I can give you a 20% discount on your bill today.”
At first, I thought she was joking, but when the bill came, I saw the 20% discount. Oh, what a joy it is to be old and ugly. It’s surprising how many perks come with this stage of life, and I’m enjoying every one of them.
I want to get as old and ugly as I possibly can and live long enough to cash out on all the perks available.
The older and uglier I get, the more I understand the beauty of the life I’m living. That made me think of a wonderful Bible verse.
Proverbs 20:29, “The glory of young men is their strength: and the beauty of old men is the grey head.”
My grey hair reveals my beauty; I’m proud of it, and I don’t care what other people think.
Dr. James L. Snyder lives in Ocala, FL with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Telephone 1-352-216-3025, e-mail jamessnyder51@gmail.com, website www.jamessnyderministries.com.