The Gantt Report
Chasing that crazy cat
By Lucius Gantt
Many men should ask themselves the same question George Clinton asked, “Why must I feel like that? Why must I chase the cat?”
Clinton said he did it because of the dog in him but The Gantt Report says men chase the cat because the good cat is hard to find.
You can chase, catch and feed a thousand cats but you’ll never stop chasing if you don’t find a Grade-A, top notch pussy cat!
Ok, what cat is the best cat? A good cat likes to run its mouth, meow if you prefer. A good cat knows when to roam and go out on the prowl but it also knows when to stay close to the house. A good cat loves to follow you around and rub up against you.
But there is one attribute that separates the best cat from all other felines. The best cat is crazy as hell!
That cat can be cold as ice and sometimes that good cat can be moist and warm!
The good cat can order you around one minute then the next minute proclaim that you’re the master and the King of the castle and you can make all of the decisions regarding the kitty litter and the household. That crazy cat can be tight as a Dixie hat band or lose enough for her favorite male cat get everywhere he needs to go.
That crazy cat will raise her paws and take a swing or a scratch at you then before you know it, the cat will be climbing all over you and rubbing you where you like to be rubbed!
The male house cat is just like the lion in the jungle. All the male cat does is sleep all day and will only rise up to fight the other lions that want his female cat.
That crazy female cat is fearless when it’s time to put it down for her man. The female cat does all of the hunting, all of the child care, all of the house cleaning and she still has time to satisfy her male.
You can’t make a sissy cat or a scary cat do what a crazy cat can do. There is no Crazy Cat School, that good cat is born good and born crazy. You just have to be the kind of male that can bring that good cat out of his furry shell, turn the good cat on, so to speak.
Yes, that cat “gone wild” is every man’s subconscious dream. We want that cat to behave out in public and when company comes around but when the sun goes down and the lights are turned low, you want that crazy cat to attack that snake running around the house. You know how a cat will take their prey in their mouth and keep it there until the prey gives up and can’t take any more!
I had a crazy cat once and I pray one day soon it will come back home. I hate drama but it is always good to have a good cat, especially one that can control her craziness!
News reporters often talk about the President’s dog but it looks like he has a good cat running around the White House. Perhaps chasing that cat is what made Barack Obama look so tired at the first debate.
Even though The Gantt Report is more versatile than other columns and doesn’t have to write about politics every week, TGR still encourages you to exercise your Constitutional right to cast your vote in the 2012 elections. (Contact Lucius and buy his latest book “Beast Too: Dead Man Writing” at www.allworldconsultants.net).
