(A Modest Proposal. Thank you Jonathon Swift)
By Kary Love
Why are we still screwing around? I mean, come on, it’s time to bite the bullet and get ‘er done! Why are we spending so much time and money on rounding up immigrants, then more money on shipping them overseas and paying other countries to jail ‘em? I thought DOGE was gonna save us taxpayers dollars, not waste more of them.
Too many softies, that’s the problem. Too many people in America are still infected with the mind worms of lefty brain rot. Too many still think it’s good to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, heal the sick, and care for the stranger, the immigrant, because those people might be the son of god in disguise and he may judge you based on how you treat those migrants and refugees. What bunk!
Our Vice-President, who speaks for his President, who was chosen by God to lead the nation, clarified: you take care of your own, that’s what God says. Charity starts at home. We all know that’s true. Your job one is to take care of your own and if the migrant and the refugees overrun your nation, then it’s time to slap ‘em down and rid yourself of the infestation before it’s too late! Come on, we all know that’s true. In your heart of heart, you know it.
Sure, we all like our kids to hear the nice Christmas story about baby Jesus, clothed in swaddling clothes and living in a manger. The kids need that kind of story to help them keep their “innocence.” But we grown-ups? Hell, we know better. Keep those stories where they belong, in kindergarten, or Bible school, but once the kids hit the real world, like all us grownups, then it’s time for reality to take control.
Reality is hard. Reality is tough, mean, dirty, down low. We need manly men to deal with reality, not a bunch of snot nosed, whining wimps. Come on, Jesus was not a warrior and we want warriors! Warriors are the champions! Warriors are the blood and guts leaders and chieftains a nation needs more than anything else. Warriors are hard, cold, they kill and destroy with no qualms, not like the snowflakes that melt in the face of hard choices. Everybody dies! Can’t do nothing about it, so stop crying over spilt milk!
We can’t tolerate those mass breeders, lazy unemployed leeches, to live off us no more! How we put up with it so long is a mystery! But now that the flood, the tidal wave is undeniable, it’s time to get seriazz!
So, no more Azzbackwards! No more coddling the migrant hordes! No more wasting our nation’s treasure on their so-called rights! Come on, we all know what is needed. So, I will call it out, because too many are too afraid to say it, but not me! Call me a warrior!
Alligator Alcatraz! That’s the answer! But not just as a camp, come on, that’s a cop-out, something a snowflake would do! Send the vermin there and then “process” them and put them on a plane to some other country!?!?! What a waste of time and money. You know it, many will just escape and work their way back here because life in some hell hole without McDonald’s will be too tough on ‘em. So, let’s cut to the chase. A place of no return! A final solution!
Alligator Alcatraz: let’s do it right. Ship ‘em all there and then unleash the alligators on ‘em. Save money on housing, feeding and clothing ‘em. The gators eat ‘em up and shit ‘em out! Solve the problem once and for all and create a pile of fertilizer while we are at it! Two birds, one stone! We are the chosen people! We have the power, so we make the right! So, let’s stop crapping around and do it right! Cut to the chase! No more playing games! These invaders deserve it, they asked for it, they broke our laws, so let’s give it to ‘em hard and fast! Ain’t that America? The most lethal nation in the world? Time to step up and prove it! No wimping out! I bet we won’t even have to pay for “guards,” many will be happy to volunteer to MAGA!
And, while we are at it, putting rubber to the road, any snowflakes with birthright citizenship who oppose it? Take it away and send them to Alligator Alcatraz too! Problems solved. No more Azzbackwards whining and hand flapping allowed! We are through pussy footin’ playing around! We are through.
Kary Love, syndicated by PeaceVoice, sometimes using blunt force satire, is a Michigan attorney who has defended nuclear resisters in court for decades.
