Ain’t That A VHIT
By Von C. Howard
I have been spending more time reflecting on the way I move through life and the roles I assume along the way. Lately, I have become more aware that I am transitioning from being primarily a bridge builder to learning how to be a bridge tender. This shift has not come from having all the answers, but from realizing how much there still is to learn.
For much of my journey, I leaned heavily into doing. I often felt a strong sense of urgency, sometimes necessary, sometimes self-imposed. I have tried to build bridges with urgency. Not recklessly, but with a genuine desire to help close gaps and remove obstacles. When I noticed barriers, I felt compelled to respond quickly. At the time, it felt like responsibility. In reflection, I now see it was also a belief that my involvement was always required.
That realization has been humbling.
Doing can be productive, but it can quietly become a measure of worth. I equated movement with impact and presence with purpose. While much of that effort came from good intentions, I am learning that effectiveness is not always about how quickly we act, but about how thoughtfully we pause.
This season has challenged me to rethink the assignment.
The bridges built along the way were never meant to spotlight who constructed them; they were meant to create passage. Once a bridge exists, it does not need constant rebuilding, it needs care. Tending requires watching, listening, adjusting, and trusting that the foundation is strong enough to hold people who may cross differently than I would have.
Being a bridge tender is quieter work. It asks for patience instead of urgency. It requires resisting the instinct to step in too quickly. It means allowing others the dignity of discovery, even when the path includes missteps. This has not been easy for me, but it has been necessary.
Doing is often visible. Tending is often unseen.
For younger people, this reflection is not a discouragement from building. It is an invitation to build wisely. Build bridges rooted in integrity, preparation, and curiosity. Build with care, knowing that effort matters, but intention matters just as much.
For those in the middle of the journey, you may recognize the tension of doing and guiding at the same time, still constructing while slowly learning when to release control. That tension is not failure; it is formation.
And for those further along the path, tending the bridges you have built is not a lesser role. It is a vital one. Maintenance protects access. Quiet wisdom prevents collapse. Presence without interference can be the greatest gift you offer.
This season of reflection brings to mind A Change Is Gonna Come, not because change is dramatic, but because it is inevitable. Growth invites transition, and transition invites humility.
Over time, bridges intersect. What one person builds connects to what another extends. Together, they form networks of opportunity none of us could create alone. But bridges only remain useful if they are cared for, maintained so others can cross and, in time, build bridges of their own.
That is the shared work of the bridge builder and the bridge tender. One creates access. The other preserves it. Together, they offer a blueprint for maturation.
And to anyone reading this who finds themselves somewhere on that bridge, building, tending, or learning how to let go, this is the affirmation: you are not behind, you are not irrelevant, and you are not alone. Where you are is where growth is happening. Your role matters in this season, just as it has in every season before.
