The Gantt Report
By Brenda Saint Louis
(Guest columnist)
Woof, pant, pant, sniff, sniff and a howl!
Ladies, heard these noises before? These are familiar sounds of the Dog chasing the Cat. Remember the age-old question… why must the dog chase the cat?
A better question is what does the Dog do after he catches the hotly pursued Cat?
Initially, the Dog is full of energy, tail wagging, dancing happily around her panting for attention, full of sweet promises of love forever more. The Dog knows how a scared cat will run.
The Dog begins wooing the cat with great passion. He may rub her belly, massage her back, lick her legs and tease her frisky Cattail. He kisses his Cat hotly and deeply. He fills her Cat ears with soft barksabout her beauty or booty. Wow, he barks, this Cat fits and she is perfect for him.
He gets the Cat purring with promises of what he will do to her that has never been done before. He declares that all her past Dogs were dirty and less than wonderful Dogs. The intelligent dog even pretends to listen to her cattails and pre-dog adventures to gather strategy. He uses music, texts, emails, love cards, brings gifts and offers his worldly possessions as lovely smelling catnip. The Dog does whatever it takes to get the Pussycat to submit.
When the cat gives in with wild abandon, freaky, intelligent, and passionate love, the Dog howls loudly in celebration of his conquest.
Soon he is enjoying her home cooking, and the warm lovely, comforts of her cat house as an entitled guest.
He lets her care for him in sickness and in health. Soon she is catering to his desires, paying his bills, and entertaining his friend dogs and family.
The Dog hates to admit that he craves her sweet addictive cat food, pretending he is licking it up for her need alone. He promises truth and fidelity… forever… never reject me, he pleads when he needs a little Pussycat.
What Dog tricks were used to capture the cat soon fade after the dirty deed is done. This might be why loud pitiful Cat cries are heard in urban alleys during mating season.
The first cries are heard in the heat of the deed making you wonder what kind of Dog the Cat is enjoying so mightily. The second pitiful yowl happens when shortly the sweet barks, cat rubs and work put in to get the cat fades into an unwanted Dog chore. The Cat gets grumpy Dog growls or prolonged silences at the request of more of what drew the Cat to his milk bone. Tenderness, sweetness, conversation and Cat rubs are buried in a secret spot in the yard with his big hard ham bone.
To the Dog, Cat needs become nags, too much talk, complaints, lack of understanding, and Cat inconsideration of his selfish needs. The Dog will start a fight not to do what he did to get the Cat. He soon takes her for granted and compares her to other Cats, who were cuter, richer, and who dared not express Cat needs. Woof, he growls. Cats, after all, will not ever control the actions of Dogs.
Most Cats stay cozily, contented, while purring softly where they are fed, petted, loved and appreciated.
When this is not happening, at the Dog’s house who caught her, neglected Cats begin to crave one of their own kind….other Cool Cats or remember past Dogs who did.
Cats BEWARE of deceptive dogs. Ask questions, learn his character, his priorities, determine what the Dog will bring to the table and his commitment to keep it going. If the answers are not correct, become the sprinting “scaredy cat” and “run Felicia run”!
For all you Dogs chasing Cats and catching them BEWARE of depriving your Cat. Queen Cats, know their worth, lose interest, become indifferent, unresponsive and the Dog bone becomes an unwanted distraction.
Keep doing the work or lose the cat! We all know you cannot help chasing the cat. Get Wise. For safety, sake learn each Cat’s lesson in preparation for the next Cat you must chase. When the Cat is ready to leave, never, never corner a neglected and provoked Cat, you might jet Dog jacked!
Meow.
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