All Things New

Sandra Maria Anderson
Dixie Ann Black

By Dixie Ann Black

Sandra Maria Anderson grew up in a haunted house in Tampa Florida.

“The house we lived in was built on top of an old cemetery. Supernatural stuff was always happening in our home: sounds, cupboards banging, howling noises. My sister, Joyce, was constantly rebuking spirits and things would calm down.”

The spirits in the house weren’t the only problem. Sandra witnessed repeated domestic violence between her parents. At age six the family moved to Fort Lauderdale pursuing a better life, but her father’s alcoholism, unstable living environments and the continued domestic violence, “Ravaged our mental health.” Sandra, the fourth of her mother’s five children, loved school but constant moves made it difficult for her to stay focused. Once her oldest sister and protector, Joyce, married and left the house the wall of protection vanished. With her mother constantly working and unable to keep a close eye, Sandra began to suffer abuse from relatives. Her mom married a Merchant Marine thinking it would at least provide a stable home for her children. But for Sandra, it opened the door for a long fall into darkness. She was seven years old when her 6’ 4” stepfather first raped her.

“He had a gun, his Winston cigarettes and a Hustler magazine on the bed. He told me if I ever told he would kill me AND my mother.”

The rapes were a routine occurrence for the next four years. Unable to cope with the ongoing trauma, the child disassociated from herself. She started overeating to insulate herself. She also stopped taking care of her personal hygiene and started skipping school. Sandra recalled being paddled by the principal for her maladaptive behaviors.

“I couldn’t say, I’m being raped’. Family loyalty is a real thing. I hated all men. I figured all men were like my stepdaddy.”

And so, the downward slide continued. Eventually, Joyce, her eldest sister and her protector, visited and absolutely refused to leave until Sandra told her what was at the root of the drastic change in her behavior.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me.” Joyce told her little sister, and she wasn’t kidding. They spent the night sitting in the car outside the house. Finally, the eleven-year-old told her older sister of the routine rapes by her stepfather. The sun had come up and it so happened that their stepfather was walking out the house at that very moment.

“I looked up and he was walking out. I looked in the car, and my sister wasn’t there anymore. She was in the trunk getting a baseball bat. My sister was screaming at their stepfather,

‘This is my family and you’re gonna die!!!’”

That night the eleven-year-old ran away from home. After all, how could she face the family she felt she had put at risk? Sandra went to the only other refuge she knew, her father. Unfortunately, her father had fallen victim to his own destructive lifestyle. Having suffered two strokes, her father was not just unable to care for himself, he was not able to assist his daughter in any manner. Worst of all, he did not recognize or acknowledge his eleven-year-old child.

“I wanted to tell him about what was happening, but he was silent… He looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.”

Sandra kept running. She found her way to the Fort Lauderdale beach. She wasn’t trying to commit suicide but when the rip tide pulled her under, she remembered seeing her dad’s face, and smelling his cologne. She remembered finally feeling peace.

It turned out her peace was short-lived. A lifeguard who “happened to” come in early to start his shift saw her being swept away and saved her. Lost and alone, she had no idea where to go. She assumed a new named and pretended to be older than her eleven years. Soon she joined the homeless community. But her innocence became her undoing.

“That’s when I learned there were other monsters.” A friendly young man stopped and offered her a lift. She found his friend hiding in the back seat of the vehicle. This time she was assaulted by two men. In the end she was trafficked. She remembered the man who bought her,

“He raped me, but he never hit me.”

Standards for her own safety continued to slide. In the midst of drugs and alcohol Sandra lost track of time. She didn’t try to escape. In her mind she just needed to survive.

“Dead things don’t have birthdays.”

When the police finally caught up with her abusers, she was not sure how much time had passed. She was placed in foster care and eventually reunited with her family. But by then seemingly irrevocable damage had been done to her psyche.

“I hated myself. I felt weak because I wasn’t able to fight off all the attacks.”

Sandra was placed in foster care and reunited with her loved ones but the cycle of “transgenerational trauma” persisted. Joyce, her protector, was fighting battles of her own. Sandra eventually married an abuser. Soon she too was on drugs. By age sixteen she had two children. By age eighteen she had been arrested twice. But love didn’t fail her. Sandra found her way to church. There she learned what her sister Joyce had been trying to teach her.

“I started learning and applying the death of the cross and the power of the resurrection.”

Still her old friend, the crack pipe kept calling. She had given up smoking but kept a pipe hidden in the yard. When she asked God why she still had the desire to use, she recalled the profound revelation that freed her from addiction.

“That’s when I started understanding the spiritual aspects of my addiction.” Sandra recalled.

“You have property that doesn’t belong to you. You have to give it back,” she heard. She realized that not only the crack pipe, but her sense of shame, self-pity and unforgiveness were properties of the enemy.

“‘You have to give back his property and he will never call on you again.’ The Holy Spirit told me.” She threw out the crack pipe, chose a different outlook and never looked back.

Meanwhile Sandra discovered that she had Kaposi Sarcoma, a type of cancer that can affect people with HIV. She developed ulcers all over her skin.  Love met her there as well,

“Dr. Alberto Mestre in Fort Lauderdale never gave up on me.” She has been free many years, with an undetectable HIV viral load.

Sandra Maria Anderson is the founder of Love Gardens Ministries International Therapy Parks, Inc. Her book, Lessons from the Thorns; His Grace is Sufficient. It chronicles her fight for mental health and wellness after trauma. The documentary ‘Taking Innocence’ Project Docuseries captures parts of her life’s story and the other survivors of human trafficking. Sandra revealed that she is also the International Best-selling author of the collaborative book Chosen: A Call Through Refinement. She has received her Master’s in Organizational Leadership at Palm Beach Atlantic University. Currently, she attends Liberty University as a doctoral student studying Community Care and Counseling Marriage and Family Therapy.

Sandra works at the Department of Health, creating programs, including the ROAR, (Raising Ongoing Adherence and Resilience), Psychoeducational support group, and Community Yoga.

For Sandra, God has indeed made all things new.

 

 

About Carma Henry 24455 Articles
Carma Lynn Henry Westside Gazette Newspaper 545 N.W. 7th Terrace, Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33311 Office: (954) 525-1489 Fax: (954) 525-1861

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