By Melanated Glow
The “Big Mommas” back in the day held the family together. Their home is where Sunday dinner took place and where everyone congregated during holidays and special occasions. Things have become so different today that current grandmothers are not as old as they used to be, and they do not serve in the same capacity as they did in the past. Most families encounter issues with keeping the family together when the matriarch of the family has passed on, but some families today never experienced that level of co-hesiveness at all.
Today distance is a factor in keeping the family unit tight. Families are choosing to relocate because of better career or education opportunities elsewhere. As people move away from their biological family, time shared is a strain and becomes a task. Getting everyone together where everyone is spread out across the nation, hemisphere, and globe is not as easy as if we were living in the same community. Coming together in this scenario takes planning or it is forced as in the case of an emergency. It is sad when the only time the family congregates is in the time of tragedy as with a funeral.
For those that reside in South Florida, distance can be internationally as well as nationally as many people have family members in the Caribbean Islands. Although there are ways to communicate despite the distance with the telephone, Zoom, What’s App, and other technological advances, there is nothing like sharing space with the ones you love and are genetically connected to. Nothing can take the place of a grandparent watching their grandchildren play. The conversations and automatic mannerisms can’t be observed impactfully through a screen. We cannot hug, touch, or kiss without being in proximity of the other person. As much as we can compensate for the space, it isn’t the same communication when there is a device as a buffer.
The distance, not knowing family members, and not being around loved ones in a traditional sense affects the children more than any other age group. It is important for children to know themselves, their family, and tradition. Knowing familial history is directly correlated to what a person believes that they are able to accomplish. We set goals and expectations based upon what we believe is attainable. It is powerful for a child to relate to something that an elder or ancestor accomplished with a mindset to continue the legacy. There is a spiritual connection made with that family member that they share the common interest with. This would not be possible if the child wasn’t aware of the family’s accomplishments.
Hidden Colors is a five-part documentary series that speaks to the past of those of African descent including those in the diaspora. There is a part in one of the volumes that speaks to how the goals that we set for ourselves, what we believe we can accomplish, is at least half related to what we know that was achieved in our lineage. Knowing our history and who we are encompasses 50% of what a person believes is in their ability to do. This statistic supports the need for every generation to be aware of the family accomplishments in whatever traditional manner deemed appropriate. It is also important that as a race and a people we know our story, so we know what we are able to accomplish as a whole.
Some families do an ama-zing job of getting everyone together on a regular basis. I was always impressed with my best friend’s family as they always gathered for each per-son’s birthday for ice cream and cake growing up. There were so many of them, but no one went without their special day. Creating and continuing meaningful traditions should be our goal. When traditions are deep inside of us, we can continue them despite what is going on outside of our control. Times like these, where we are faced with a lot of unknowns and drastic changes, we have to rely on each other, and the children need us to be as con-sistent with what would make us each a better person as we are with those things less im-portant. What tradition is being passed down in your family?
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