By James B. Ewers Jr. Ed.D.
Being in the summer months made me muse about my growing up in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. That was a care-free time in my life. The days were long and the nights were short.
After breakfast, my friends and I stayed outside most of the day. If we weren’t playing too much, I would come home for lunch. It was the same routine for all the kids in my East Winston neighborhood.
Everybody knew their next-door neighbor and those in the neighborhood. Locked doors weren’t the custom and snacks were always available for us. We felt loved and always welcomed. However, our parents did tell us not to wear out our welcome.
During the evening, adults would visit or sit on their porch. We kids would be together until the streetlights came on and that was our signal to come inside. The day was over and we would start afresh the next day.
The joy that we had was unspeakable. Friendships that we made during childhood are now adult friendships. I took knowing my friends and neighbors for granted. I just thought that all neighborhoods were like mine. Back in the day, I believe they were. I mean, how could you live in a community and not know your neighbors?
Knowing people on your side of town was a mainstay for us. Our parents never feared for our safety or well-being. We were always in and out of someone’s house and it wasn’t a big deal.
During my time, kids did a lot of talking. Quite honestly, we could take or leave television. TV and radio didn’t really strike a chord with us. Even when we did watch television, it wasn’t a topic for our conversations. In a funny way, we left Popeye and Mickey Mouse in the house.
Now, my friends and I have some heartfelt conversations about the good times that we had as kids. We know that we were blessed. We realize how fortunate we were to have grown up in a neighborhood that was surrounded by love. Our childhood experiences shaped our lives as adults.
How we talk to others and our level of kindness were all learned behaviors. We watched our elders and we learned from them. Now, we are the elders in our communities.
What is happening in today’s neighborhoods is a lot different. Cordiality and kindness aren’t practiced as much. The societal times have given us a less friendly environment. Simply put, we are a bit suspicious of our neighbors.
Neighbors don’t visit as much as they once did. Children don’t visit much either. I will say that children now have what are called play dates. These are pre-arranged by parents and sometimes money is involved.
Of course, we didn’t have those experiences. All our playing was spontaneous. We just gathered and started playing. Money wasn’t involved.
Technology has played a big role in neighbors keeping to themselves. I guess being on Facebook is better than sitting and talking to each other in person. Children would rather talk and text via cell phone than play outside.
Some experts think that staying inside and being aloof are signs of mistrust. Additionally, they believe that some people have gotten accustomed to being unfriendly. I watch some folks in department stores, and they have a frown on their face. Have we lost the adage, it takes a village mindset?
A report says, “Today most Americans define being a good neighbor as maintaining a respectful distance and privacy rather than being highly involved in each other’s personal lives.”
Quality of life issues are important in creating good neighborhoods. Crime, schools and housing are all factors in judging the quality of neighborhoods.
Will our neighborhoods return to those developed many years ago? If I had to venture a guess, I would likely say no. However, we must do our best to create healthy and happy neighborhoods. This benefits all of us.
