Ain’t That A VHIT
By Von C. Howard
One thing life teaches me is that everybody carries something. Some people carry pain. Some carry disappointment. Some carry loneliness, grief, or silent struggles they rarely speak about. Many times, those things are hidden behind smiles, accomplishments, leadership titles, community service, and the ability to keep showing up for everybody else.
As I continue to grow, I realize that many of the ways I try to pour into others come from places within myself that long for the same things: reassurance, consistency, encouragement, understanding, and simply feeling emotionally seen.
Now, to be clear, God blesses me tremendously with people who love, encourage, and support me throughout my life. Family, close family members, friends, church members, fraternity brothers, mentors, colleagues, and members of the community all pour into me in meaningful ways. Their presence helps shape me, strengthen me, and sustain me through different seasons of life.
But like many people, I still experience moments where certain emotional spaces feel unfilled. Not out of bitterness or blame, but simply because life happens. Sometimes the people we naturally expect to always be there are carrying burdens of their own. Sometimes even close family relationships shift. Sometimes communication fades. Sometimes people become consumed with life, responsibilities, or their own healing journeys.
And while I understand those realities, it does not erase the moments when I quietly wish for a little more presence, support, or understanding from the people I may need the most, or even just a simple, consistent voice from those you hope to lean on without distraction.
Yet somehow, instead of allowing those moments to make me hard, they make me softer toward people, their situations, and the outcomes life sometimes places before them.
They make me more intentional about checking on others. More intentional about encouraging people. More intentional about mentoring young men, supporting friends, uplifting colleagues, and creating spaces where people feel heard, valued, and appreciated. Because the truth is, when you know what emotional emptiness can feel like, you become more aware of the importance of making sure others do not have to carry life alone.
And honestly, pouring into others helps heal parts of me too.
There is something powerful about being there for someone. A simple phone call. A thoughtful message. A hug. A prayer. A conversation. A reminder that somebody matters. Sometimes the smallest acts of love and compassion become the very things that help people keep going.
The reality is, even strong people need support. Encouragers need encouragement. Leaders need safe spaces. Those who constantly pour into others still need someone willing to pour back into them.
That is why I believe we all carry a responsibility to each other.
In a world where so many people silently carry heavy burdens, we must become more available to one another. We must become jars willing to pour into somebody else’s cup when life leaves them feeling empty. Sometimes people do not need solutions; they simply need presence. They need compassion. They need to know somebody genuinely cares.
Maybe that is one of life’s greatest lessons: the very voids we carry can become the reason we pour so deeply into others.
So check on somebody. Encourage somebody. Pray for somebody. Listen to somebody. Love on somebody.
Because one pour can help save a life.
