Running Down the Ridiculous
Oh my God Mitt Romney
By Wilson Nathaniel Thomas
All I can say is oh my God. Mitt Romney, after a full two weeks of speculation as to who he was going to choose as his vice presidential running mate, announced over the weekend that he had selected Representative Paul Ryan of Wisconsin. Lately, the only things good that have come out of the state of Wisconsin have been cheese and a Superbowl winning football team.
First of all, the tapping of Paul Ryan is a mystery that deserves some investigation. Looking at the hard facts and taking into account that Paul Ryan has never won a statewide race, what is Mitt Romney thinking about? Personally I believe that the World’s most robotic and RIDICULOUS candidate, Mittens Romney, had no other choice but to pick someone like a Paul Ryan. After all he is the person that wrote a piece of legislation that will turn Medicare into a voucher program and cut funding for Pell Grants, Headstart, Medicaid, and Social Security.
You see, Mittens had no plan, he had no real ideas of his own in regards to what he would do if the American people were actually brain dead enough to vote his stiff, arrogant, confused hind parts into the office of the president, but Ryan had a plan. Ryan had something that Romney could wrap his serpent little body around, and contract and squeeze and then suck the entire thing down his throat as if it were his own. Now never mind the fact that the Ryan budget plan was rejected by the Senate, and never mind the fact that during the Republican presidential primaries, Newt Gingrich of all people referred to Ryan’s plan as Right Wing Social Engineering.
The Ryan plan is just bad. As a matter of fact Ryan’s plan to cut the nation’s budget is so bad, and so horrific that a bunch of Catholic Nuns have been traveling all over the country on a bus, talking to fellow Americans about how bad it really is. As a matter of fact a respectable number of Catholic Bishops have even signed onto a letter that says that the Ryan budget plan violates a number of religious principles.
And for those of you who have been following what some within the Republican party have been trying to do to women, believe me when I tell you that everything that you have seen to date, as horrible and a RIDICULOUS as it has been, has absolutely nothing on the assaults that Ryan and his supporters plan to unleash on women. You see, Paul Ryan wrote and sponsored a Personhood Amendment Bill in congress this past year. If that piece of written insanity had passed, the definition of when a person becomes a person would have been changed forever in this country.
Life will begin at the time of conception, and the most popular forms of birth control will be illegal if Ryan has his way. Oh and by the way, did I fail to mention that if you are unlucky enough to be raped, you will be forced to carry and give birth to your rapists baby, because Paul Ryan does not believe in abortion for any reason and that includes rape, incest, or in cases of medical necessity to save the life of the mother. So in other words if you are pregnant and you acquire a life threatening disease and you need an abortion to save your life, well ladies, I suggest that you go ahead and get your affairs in order because under any administration that Paul Ryan has anything to do with, you will die. I will say this again, and let me be clear, Paul Ryan does not believe in abortion under any circumstances.
I am telling you that there will be a lot of frustrated people walking around in America if we let Mittens and Ryan into the Oval Office, because women who no longer have the right to control what happens to their bodies, and women who are faced with the possibility of dying as a result of only a few moments of pleasure, will surely choose not to have sex, or at the very least they are going to choose to stop having sex with a man. So ladies stock up on the batteries and the KY, and gentlemen get your hands ready.
So far what I have mentioned is on-ly the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Paul Ryan, but never fear, I will be happy to drop as may dimes on Paul Ryan as I possibly can up until the day of the election.
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