By James Edward Crawford
My increasing encounters with medical personnel, family members, friends and other folks who seem not to care and are annoyed with those of us who are aging or getting old, concerns me. The slower pace, hearing loss, and short-term memory comes with aging and getting old. Our longevity and seniority have earned us more respect than this.
My eighty-seven-year-old brother had a stroke. We were immediately advised to put him in hospice. He lived three and a half more years. My eighty-five-year-old sister is in failing health. We were told the same thing. Put her in hospice. Shortly, she will be celebrating her eighty-ninth birthday.
When my ninety-one-year-old brother was recently rushed to the emergency room, we were told to either put him in hospice or they were going to put him on a ventilator. After three weeks, they sent him home.
When folks reach a certain age, the care we receive diminishes dramatically, and we are sent home or to a facility, to “die peacefully.” Aging or getting old should not be a death sentence. All of us need to know what our elderly friends, parents, grandparents, and other family members experience day to day once they begin the aging process. I have been aging for eighty-one years, but I am not old yet.
People need to understand why we do what we do, act the way we act, and then come to grips with the fact that we are no longer that fifty- or sixty-year-old person who used to bounce them on our knee and play softball with them on the front lawn.
Is there a difference between aging and getting old? Absolutely! There are tens of thousands of us who age, but never get old. Conversely, there is an equal number who have not taken the time to enjoy the experience and pleasure of aging. They have gone from middle age straight to old.
For some, it is due to chronic medical problems which keeps them immobile and sick all the time, while the others chose to remain in the past because it is more comfortable and less stressful. Those in this second group have little ambition, no plans for the future, and seem to be satisfied with their station in life where things are less complicated and major decisions can be avoided.
When the forty-sixth President of the United States celebrated his eightieth birthday on November 20, 2022, a historic and record setting day for an American President, we did no see many on-the-air accolades or much fanfare about him reaching this milestone, nor the accomplishments and contributions he has made over the past forty plus years to the country he loves so dearly.
Instead, the American people were being told by his critics and the Republicans that Joseph Biden Jr. is too old to run for a second term, the steadiness of his gait has greatly diminished, his memory is failing, and he is constantly making gaffs during his speeches.
We were not being reminded of his ability to remember the names of the dozens of Heads of States he has met during his many trips around the world, nor do they mention his ability to negotiate with business leaders, union presidents, and members of Congress to keep this country going and stop government shutdowns.
President Biden is ten days my junior. He and I are both aging, but we are not old yet. Both of us are going through life changes that most 86-year-olds go through. If you are blessed enough to reach our age you will experience the same things.
Episodes where you walk into a room, stand in the middle of the floor, and ask yourself “what the hell did I come in here for?” will increase, and your pace will begin to slow down. At this point you are still aging but are not old yet. This is where he and I are right now.
There are thoughts that run through my mind every time I leave home, drive down the street and stare at the sites I have taken for granted over the years. Those thoughts cause me to think to myself, I may never see any of this again, I begin to cherish what I have accomplished and try not to concentrate on the negative, which is not an easy thing to do. I try to follow the advice of Will Rogers, “Don’t let what happened yesterday take up too much of today.”
Please be more tolerant and patient with both the aging and the old. If blessed, you will reach that point in life where you realize that you are not the same person you were twenty years ago, nor will you be the same person 20 years from now. It is what it is. Deal with it.
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