Ain’t That A VHIT
By Von C. Howard
If you’ve spent any significant time serving in the Black community, you’ve probably encountered it. You may not have called it “kissing the ring,” but you’ve seen it.
It happens when a community leader, entrepreneur, pastor, nonprofit, or resident has a good idea, only to be asked, “Did you run it by so-and-so first?” Suddenly, the focus shifts from solving the problem to seeking approval from individuals who are perceived to hold influence.
Unfortunately, this mindset has become one of the most overlooked obstacles to progress in many communities, including here in Fort Lauderdale.
We’ve all witnessed meetings where more time was spent discussing who was invited than what was accomplished. We’ve seen community initiatives stall because someone felt excluded from the planning process. We’ve watched organizations compete for recognition instead of collaborating for impact. While people argue over position, title, or credit, the issues facing our community continue to wait.
The children still need mentors.
Small businesses still need support.
Families still need resources.
Neighborhoods still need investment.
Violence still requires intervention.
In Fort Lauderdale’s Black community, these “kiss the ring” moments often emerge around community development, economic opportunities, political engagement, and neighborhood initiatives. A resident identifies a problem and proposes a solution, only to discover that some believe nothing should move forward without first consulting certain individuals. A grassroots effort gains momentum, but support becomes conditional based on who is leading it rather than the value of the work itself.
The result is often division, frustration, and lost opportunities.
Many talented people eventually stop showing up. Emerging leaders become discouraged. Entrepreneurs take their ideas elsewhere. Volunteers become disengaged. The community loses because ego becomes more important than execution.
The truth is that our community does not suffer from a lack of talent. We have educators, faith leaders, business owners, civic organizations, elected officials, fraternities, sororities, and young professionals who all bring value to the table. The challenge is that too often we operate in silos, protecting influence instead of building partnerships.
A confident leader doesn’t require people to seek permission before serving others. A confident leader creates opportunities, builds bridges, and celebrates collective success. They understand that leadership is not about controlling access; it’s about creating access.
So how do we move beyond the culture of ring-kissing?
First, place the mission above the messenger. A good idea remains a good idea regardless of who presents it.
Second, celebrate collaboration over ownership. No one person or organization owns community service, economic empowerment, or neighborhood improvement.
Third, create more tables and fewer thrones. Communities thrive when people feel welcomed to contribute, not when they feel obligated to seek approval.
Finally, measure success by outcomes, not recognition. Residents care less about who receives credit and more about whether the problem was solved.
At a time when our communities face serious challenges, we cannot afford to let pride slow progress. The future of Fort Lauderdale’s Black community will not be determined by who held the most influence. It will be determined by who was willing to work together.
The strongest communities are not built around gatekeepers. They are built around partnerships. They are built around people willing to share information, opportunities, resources, and relationships for the greater good.
If we truly want to move our neighborhoods forward, perhaps it is time to replace thrones with tables, places where everyone has a seat, every voice can be heard, and every willing hand can help do the work.
Because progress has never belonged to one person.
It has always belonged to the community.
Von C. Howard is a community leader, public servant, and contributing columnist for The Westside Gazette.
